Pictures at an Exhibition

Agreed, leave at 9.30am
Up, dressed, cats fed, breakfast.
We leave at 9.30am

A drive from Thames to Auckland
Major roads predictable, stress free.
GPS reduces the worry of ‘Where do I turn off?’
Destination is some obscure street in a half remembered Auckland.
Off ramp identified, negotiated, gleeful shout of relief.

“In 400 metres turn left into …”
400 metres is short, or quick,
Depending on how soon the satellite connection is made
Or how fast you’re going.
Now a desperate search for the street name
I can hear the heavy breathing of traffic held up behind me.

And what happens if I miss it
Will I be punished with a volley of right hand turns.
I am not as quick as I was

That familiar, “When possible, do a U turn.” One day will become
A calm, “When possible change driver.”

My co-driver / navigator on alert
Reading street signs
Spectacles straining.

A shout! The obscure street located
“Your destination is No. ‘xyz’ on the left.”
No. ‘xyz’ is embedded in this narrow, one way street’
A busy one way street bristling with hostile signs,
“NP,” “Not Here”, “Reserved for – – – Only”,
“Don’t even think about it!”

Cars committing cardinal sins get the “Tow Away”
!
Welcome to Auckland.

We cannot find the location, so a shrewd guess
Co-driver hops out
I continue driving through the Valley of Torment
Around a corner
Around a corner
I’m back!
“Here! You can park here!”
God bless the Co Driver
No. ‘xyz’ has been located.
The hallowed precinct of High Art
There is a park for us.
We bustle inside simmering with victory.
Tactfully point out to The Desk that the sign outside is very small
So wee and hard to see.

Nose aloof (remember the New Yorker cartoons?}
We are sniffily informed
“Oh, people know we’re here”
The pensioners, peasants from the provinces have been informed.
The embarrassment of asking for the loo
(travelling time and old age)
We exit the admin area
Exit daylight
Enter the Gallery.

One of us very eager to see this exhibition
The other of us, suspects yet more of what he’s seen before.
The Sombre and Obscure artfully displayed.
“Art lies in the eyes of the beholder”
A bit like taking a caterpillar to see a ballet.

Silence
A vast, cool space
We are alone

Paintings, one for example a hazy and mainly grey – is formless.
They are evenly spaced
With a printed text below
Enlightenment
I put on my grandpa glasses
I stoop
Wait for the shout
“Get away from that you peasant!”
Every painting, one after the other, with the same subtext
polymer on hahnemuhle paper
580 x 760 mm

Hahnemühle papers began life in 1850 and come from Saxony. They are made from selected fibres according to use blended with spring water and will last for over 100 years. (Even papers with plastic particles in them for digital / photographic use!)

A group of four, conversation hushed, enter the gallery.
They look about the room.
Quietly approach a painting.
Back away.
One of them turns to me
An enigmatic smile, and they’re and gone

There is a place to sit down
‘Helpful’ notes on these repeated drab, near colourless icons.
The artist has been painting for
Has mastered painterly expertise
Only to produce painting after painting this sad monologue of degradation and decay
Where is the joy, the sparkle, the fun, the mischief of being alive?
What is your problem buddy?

Is High Art?
Beyond the simpleton of small town New Zealand.
Give me the sparkle, the mischief and wit of being alive

The unshouted cry, “The Emperor has no clothes”
The Gallery is empty

Upstairs another gallery
I cling onto the handrail
Up, up
Getting older is a chuckle a minute.

And what a difference,
Daylight, colour,
Life

A flower
A flower poised above an upturned foot
Surreal, child-like nonsense?
Yes, nonsense and fun.
Breath of fresh air

Time to move
Lunch time

Outside midday traffic bustling, bullying
Cafés but nowhere to park
Co-driver exits to get a table at a nearby café
I drive for twenty minutes to park
No luck
Return
Collect co-driver with a hot, drooping, take-way sandwich

“Take the second …”
GPS navigates us to an on ramp
A familiar motorway

Six hours from leaving home we return
Mission accomplished.